Internal Conflict

The start of a new quad is an interesting time frame for athletes. It’s a period of reevaluating motive, drive, goals, and desires. For some athletes, the time has come to step away from the sport and pursue other interests or discover oneself elsewhere in life. For others, a new quad is a fresh start in striving for new goals and new milestones. For new athletes, it’s a chance to explore the world of a sport and ride the high of chasing a dream. Personally, I fall into the second category.

The conclusion of the winter games left me in a bit of a state of confusion, a confusion of what did I want in life. I rode the high of watching the games, cheering for Team USA and relishing all podium finishes. But the weeks that followed brought me back to reality: bills, work, responsibilities, etc. It would be a lie to say I didn’t have my own wavering thoughts about returning to the sport because of the financial commitments and lifestyle demands. For months I struggled with this, unsure of what I should do. To be fair to myself and the effort I had already put into my development training, I figured I could at least see how this upcoming season would go.

The unfortunate part about my reservations was that all the conflict was coming from within. No one outside of myself had shared any doubts or discouragement, I was my own worst enemy. I would flesh out every negative on the table as to why pursuing skeleton didn’t make any sense. Interestingly enough, I had started to listen to quite a few motivational speakers: Les Brown, T.D. Jakes, Gary Vee, Tony Robbins, Denzel Washington, The Rock, E.T. and more. This was critical in preparing my mind for another round of sliding. If I was gonna attempt this, I might as well commit to it.

“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm.”- African Proverb

A friend and teammate who I entered the sport with confronted my unease about affording the lifestyle. His caution was money shouldn’t be the reason I quit on my dream. Time would prove him right. In various instances in my life when I would stress about money and making ends meet, things always managed to work out. This situation was no different because I wasn’t on this journey alone. I had friends and family who supported and believed in me. Even some who were living vicariously through me. But I also had a team who had been where I was and many of which still are in my position. Yea it sucks working 3-4 jobs in the summer, saving every penny so you can travel, compete and afford equipment, but it’s all for a dream. And to them, it’s worth it. For me, it’s worth it.

If you want something, go get it!

Mystique Ro
About Mystique Ro 16 Articles
Mystique Ro attended and graduated from Queens University of Charlotte in December of 2016 where she received her bachelors degree in Relational Communications. During her time at Queens, she was a member of the women's track and field team competing as a heptahlete. At the end of her collegiate career she joined the coaching staff for a season assisting with the sprint and jumper team. But not quite ready to retire her spikes and join her peers in the quest for finding a career, she sought opportunity to further her athletic endeavors. She now competes for Team USA as a Skeleton athlete.

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