Bro, we all love our teams but no one loves your armpit hair.

Image Via: Dead Spin

By: Ashley Otero

Bro, I am all about doing Bro things. I’m totally down with the Bros. However, there are some things that are too “Bro” even for the Broest of Bros. So Bros, stop wearing ill fitted t-shirts and jerseys. If you MUST wear jerseys out to EVERY events (some that are not even sports related) can you please ensure they are fitted or simply a size that actually fits you? Before stepping out in your favorite old jersey maybe just ask yourself the following questions: Am I over 28? (This is being generous) Do I want to attract women/men? Do I value how I present my public appearance? How will I feel if I run into my boss or colleagues?

This guy looks drunk already and I haven’t even seen his face. Just because your favorite player wears an XXXL does not mean you have to as well, nor does it mean that you can pull it off as they do. Let us remember that the majority of athletes are built VERY differently than the average Joe. Average Joe is 5’6” and, if he is in shape, he should weigh somewhere between 128 – 156 lbs. The average athlete tends to be 6’ something and in the range of 220 lbs. Quite a massive difference wouldn’t you agree? So why in god’s name are you wearing a super large jersey when you should be wearing a medium? Are you out of shape? Wearing ill fitted clothes may make you feel more comfortable but it actually adds to your weight visually. Compare this idea to people who wear shirts  while swimming, they are typically trying to cover their belly that they are self-conscious of but we all know once that shirt gets wet it acts as a second layer of skin and actually highlights everything that they are trying to conceal. Getting better. GO HEAT!

If you can pull this off I say go for it. I am all for supporting the team but not to the detriment of one’s self. Do not even get me started on the sleeveless jerseys, yuck. Please stop cheering because I do not want your arm pit hair in my face anymore. Do you even work out? Why are you wearing a shirt to show off your non existent muscles?   Jerseys are expensive, everyone knows this but doesn’t your own self worth outweigh this cost? If not, it should. Also, if you are unable to buy official gear then get started on a DIY project! Some puffy paint and white shirt was all I needed growing up.

Perfect for that Thanksgiving day Kickoff! Lesson being*: if you are going to shell out the dough to keep it real, lets make sure your purchase is making you look as good as the money you spent. **Please do not shave your armpit hair, that was not the lesson.  

Best Friend at any Party.

nutsandb
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